My Family Means More

Over the weekend, NSW Origin and Penrith Panthers star winger Brian To’o confirmed his allegiances for the impending Rugby League World Cup at the end of the year lay with Samoa, the land of his ancestry. This does contradict comments To’o himself made earlier in the year saying he would most likely not turn down the chance to play for the Kangaroos if presented with the opportunity, but hey, a man can change his mind.

That should be the end of the story.

Except, as with everything rugby league, the discourse that followed has turned into some of the most mind-bending dog whistling imaginable, which is saying something for, well, you know, the internet.

As a second generation Australian of Italian descent my background and cultural identity are incredibly important to me, especially growing up in Australian society where it feels like you can become disconnected so easily from your heritage.

My personal experiences growing up were that you, as the son of an immigrant, were constantly reminded of your heritage in order to keep that strong connection to your homeland. Parents would speak Italian at home, you would go to Italian festivals, your parents seemingly knew the owner of every pizzeria within a 5km radius, and Sunday night family dinners at Nonna’s were the best feed of the week guaranteed.

Italian culture is all about family and togetherness, coming together over a shared meal, maybe a game of Briscola or yelling at each other about the best way to make a salami. It’s an incredibly strong, familial bond forged through generosity, the need to feed any guest that walks over the threshold, and then the reinforcement of “no you’re too skinny, another plate for you” is something genetically coded.

Even travelling with my friends through Europe, it seems silly but I felt an immense sense of pride when I got to play translator in Rome, Milan, Venice and Florence. I felt like I had invited my friends into my own home, my history, and I felt that strong sense of connection to Italy and honour to show them around and give a good account of the place.

That’s just my experience.

To me, I see a tremendous amount of parallel between my upbringing and the cultures of the Pacific islands. That strong sense of fierce pride in your homeland, that unbreakable bond of family and community, where the time spent with others is more valuable than even the richest NRL contract. You hear the pride with which the Penrith contingent talk about Samoa, you see Kevin Naiqama’s eyes glisten during every Noqu Masu, you see Jason Taumalolo turning down lucrative Tier 1 cheques with New Zealand to represent Tonga.

The hard fact is these players have grown up immersed in their own cultures more so than whatever you would term “Australian culture” is, often as fellow second generation immigrants like myself, with native parents who have sought to keep that link to their homeland alive.

“It would mean the world for me to put on the jersey and it's a massive opportunity to play for Australia, but heart is everything to me and my people and my family means more."

"I'll definitely play for my family."

- Brian To’o

Rugby league is such a unique beast when it comes to the international game, compared to any other sport in the world. With pretty much any other sport, once you make a competitive senior appearance for a nation, that’s it.

The homogenous nature of rugby league origins and catchment don’t lend itself to such hard and fast rules about nationality. With the majority of rugby league’s prospective player base coming from 3 countries, a hard and fast rule about declaring for one nation only would devolve the international game into little more than a glorified Tri Nations hit and giggle.

The other issue is that quite often the international game isn’t treated as the pinnacle of the sport by the powerbrokers and influencers in the game, which leads to this warped perception that puts the international game second on the priority list to State of Origin and, by extension, the rights of the Tier 1 nations.

I love State of Origin, but it should not be on the same plane as the international game, especially if people in charge are serious about “growing the game.” Forcing a player to pledge first rights to Australia in order to play State of Origin is a reductive measure designed to guarantee a powerhouse nation with seven options per position an unlimited resource pool, a bit like how Bayern Munich have treated the rest of the German Bundesliga for the last 15 years.

Ironically, given how often rugby league loves to get in its own way, the current setup re: eligibility and the tiered nation system has worked remarkably well. By allowing players to commit to a solitary Tier 1 nation (Australia, New Zealand or England) and still be able to play for a Tier 2 nation, it has reinforced the depth in some of these so-called fringe nations.

For example, the most vocal example right now is Penrith’s Samoa contingent, with To’o, Taylan May, Jarome Luai, Stephen Crichton, Izack Tago, Moses Leota, Spencer Leniu and Charlie Staines all eligible for the island nation. If the vocal minority got their way, those Origin stars among this group (To’o, Crichton and Luai) would have to forfeit the right to play for Samoa to continue their Origin career, at the detriment of the Samoan national team.

Not only does that stop them from honouring their heritage and representing their families, but it takes three players out of their player pool straight away, and that’s just the example of one nation from one club. The fact is an overwhelming number of Origin players are eligible for Tier 2 nations, but prioritising Origin by forcing an Australian declaration would cannibalise the Tier 2 nations and reduce their player pool to picking around the margins.

It appears those calling for the preservation of the hallowed sanctity of Origin lack the nuance required to realise a player can feel a close affinity to their state and community (in To’o’s case, western Sydney and NSW), as well as their family and heritage (Samoa), and if he has the mechanism to honour both of those then that is only a positive.

For mine, the Australian national rugby league team is the one I feel the least connection and allegiance to, of all the sports. With most major tournaments I’ll cheer for Australia and then switch to Italy if Australia are knocked out and Italy remain, but it’s always Australia first.

With rugby league, I’m strangely apathetic to the Kangaroos. A lack of fixtures doesn’t help, but I’ve never felt the Kangaroos have done a tremendous job of associating themselves to the diverse and multicultural spectrum that is Australian rugby league fandom.

I’m also not a fan of the Kangaroos mindset that they are owed the prime years of every eligible player. Take this quote from Mal Meninga, current coach, for example, on the eligibility of Jarome Luai vs. Josh Papalii.

“Josh [Papalii] is now 31 and he’s at the back end of his career, and he’s earned the respect and right to choose who he wants to play for, but Jarome [Luai] is at the start of his career and I’d like to think he will make himself available for Australia.

I’ve made it known in the past if a player can play Origin, they should then make themselves available for Australia.

I’m keen to speak with Jarome and let him know what my feelings and thoughts are about the international game.

I’m also keen to hear his thoughts and reasons for wanting to play for Samoa. I can tell you he’s absolutely in the mix for Australia.”

- Mal Meninga, June 2021

Sorry, but why does Luai owe it to Australia to be a squad player because he’s young? I didn’t realise you had a quota of Kangaroos camps you had to fulfil before you unlocked the ability to play for a Tier 2 nation. This isn’t a video game, Samoa aren’t an unlockable nation or something you purchase with VC in the store.

Obviously as the coach of Australia, Mal’s job is to guarantee the best side for the Kangaroos, which I get, and my beef isn’t necessarily with him, even though the quotes are a bit tactless. It’s the general mindset that Origin is now treated as a Kangaroos trial when the reality is those days are long gone and the international game has grown to a point where it now stands on its own two feet and rivals Origin for importance to these players, where that might not have been the case 15-20 years ago.

I was thinking about this the other day, and I honestly think if I was in this position (I could’ve made the league but I got injured when I was 17, the standard story), I’d choose to play for NSW and Italy over the Kangaroos. As To’o said, my family and my culture is important to me, and the chance to honour that is special.

Take a step back and realise that maybe your precious Kangaroos that mean so much to you, might not carry the same weight to a Samoan kid who grew up in Mount Druitt bumping OneFour.

Don’t sell out your culture.